The definition of anger is; an intense emotional state or feeling that is induced by displeasure.
Anger is an emotion that we are born with. There isn’t anyone in the world that doesn’t experience anger. Even babies when they don’t get fed right away become angry. So the idea of becoming angry is not wrong or a sin. It’s how we handle our anger and where it stems from that makes all the difference.
Even Jesus displayed anger when he chased the money changers out of the temple. His anger was called righteous indignation which means to have an anger that is righteous over unjust, mean or wickedness.
The unfortunate reality for us is that our anger is usually not righteous indignation but self displeasure. When this emotion becomes explosive, volatile, and abusive there is cause for alarm and to be concerned.
The bible also says to be angry but sin not. In other words we will become angry at times but if we explode, take it out on others, or hold it in or against another because of resentment it turns into sin and the result is sinful and volatile behavior.
If you or anyone you know has an anger issue that includes the list above I highly recommend seeing a counselor, pastor or therapist and recommend you taking an anger management class. Explosive and volatile behavior not only affects you but others and can easily be turned into verbal or physical abuse if not dealt with.
I encourage you to talk to someone because an anger problem usually stems from a deeper root of something else that needs to be identified and dealt with before it get’s worse.
On a good note I want to encourage you that there is hope and if you are struggling with anger, I believe if you are willing to take the steps to address this head on, you have a good chance of being relieved, restored and healed. The key is to be willing to do whatever you need to do to rectify the problem.
When I counsel my main objective is to always find out what is at the heart of the matter. What is at the root of it all and also to see the bigger picture of what is really going on.
I do this because many times people will come in and share with me their problems and the truth is their problems they are discussing with me are usually results or symptoms of a deeper issue and all they can see is the surface level of where they are at that moment.
That is why I highly recommend talking to someone who can give you godly and professional counsel to help you get down to the core of where the anger is stemming from.
Here are some helpful tools to get you started in the right direction when it comes to dealing with anger.
Pray: Pray before during and after and pray for God to reveal the core issue at hand and once you find the core root of the anger ask God to help you deal with the root issue and to pull that root out and bring healing. There is usually an un-dealt issue at the core of an anger issue and you need God’s help to deal with that truth.
Measure Your Intensity: On a scale of 1-10 measure how angry you are getting.
Measure Your Consistency: Take note of how consistent and how often you get angry. Also when did the intense anger begin? Making note of time and perhaps month or year. Narrowing it down to a specific occasion or occurrence will usually lead you to the answer.
Identify Your Triggers: Take note of the occasion(s) you become angry looking at what sets you off. One thing or many things and are they related?
Try to find the Root or Cause: Once you have done the first four steps try to find the relation between them and narrow down what the root or cause might be. For example: One woman said her behavior changed around the month of November just six months prior. When she recalled what happened around that time, she realized that the month before her closest friend passed away. That unveiled to the both of us that she was grieving and she didn’t realize it.
Be willing to Look Soberly: Be willing to look at your heart and situation sober minded. In other words be realistic with yourself on why you are becoming angry or volatile. Be willing to face the facts and do what you need to do to restore your healing and alleviate whatever issue is at the root of it.
Address the Root Cause: Be willing to deal with the core root issue head on. If it is un-forgiveness, resentment, guilt, grief, trauma, whatever it might be, it’s important to take the steps to deal with it head on, especially if you know what the cause of your anger and unhappiness is. Until you are willing to deal with the issue it will never change or go away and in fact will get worse.
Talk to a Professional: If the core root is too hard for you to handle on your own, it’s important to seek out counsel. Either professional counseling or pastoral care counseling. You can then find out more information on anger management to help give you more direction and guidance on dealing with the issue and how to manage your anger practically.
Make Alternative Choices: As you are seeking counsel, be more conscience of your anger and make some decisions on how to respond to your trigger situations rather than react. For example if your trigger is someone being sarcastic with you, make a decision to walk away when it happens. Prepare yourself and think of alternative scenarios to deviate from a confrontation or blow up.
Take Action Steps: As you find out what the core issue is and you get godly counsel or professional counsel, continue to take the necessary steps to carry it out and follow through until the core or root is taken out and keep in mind that this process does not happen over night.
Other sources of anger that I haven’t mentioned could also be medications. If you are taking prescribed medications, there is a good chance that the medicine may be playing a part in it. Also your age might be included in that, especially if you are menopausal or hormonal. Don't take my word for it, please see a doctor for their evaulation.
There may not be one thing but several issues that may be playing a role in this and the most important tip here is to try to find out what it is.
If you think you might be dealing with unforgiveness, bitterness, or disapointment you can also read those topics here, "Dealing with Unforgiveness and Bitterness" and "Dealing with Disappointment" on my website. Take a look at the topics on my counseling page to see if there are any other topics that may help.
Always remember that you are not alone, God is right there to help you if you are willing to allow Him to do that. Allow God to heal you and restore you and allow Him to draw closer to you by spending quality time with Jesus. If you would like to know more about drawing closer to God you can click on my website and read my testimony page. Please read the following passages to see what the bible says about anger.
Scripture References:
Eph 4:26-28 "In your anger do not sin" : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. “NIV
James 1:20-21 “for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.” NIV
Psalms 4:4 “ In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. “NIV
Gal 5:16-26 “So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law. 19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”
Gal 5:22-26 “ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.” NIV
Anger is an emotion that we are born with. There isn’t anyone in the world that doesn’t experience anger. Even babies when they don’t get fed right away become angry. So the idea of becoming angry is not wrong or a sin. It’s how we handle our anger and where it stems from that makes all the difference.
Even Jesus displayed anger when he chased the money changers out of the temple. His anger was called righteous indignation which means to have an anger that is righteous over unjust, mean or wickedness.
The unfortunate reality for us is that our anger is usually not righteous indignation but self displeasure. When this emotion becomes explosive, volatile, and abusive there is cause for alarm and to be concerned.
The bible also says to be angry but sin not. In other words we will become angry at times but if we explode, take it out on others, or hold it in or against another because of resentment it turns into sin and the result is sinful and volatile behavior.
If you or anyone you know has an anger issue that includes the list above I highly recommend seeing a counselor, pastor or therapist and recommend you taking an anger management class. Explosive and volatile behavior not only affects you but others and can easily be turned into verbal or physical abuse if not dealt with.
I encourage you to talk to someone because an anger problem usually stems from a deeper root of something else that needs to be identified and dealt with before it get’s worse.
On a good note I want to encourage you that there is hope and if you are struggling with anger, I believe if you are willing to take the steps to address this head on, you have a good chance of being relieved, restored and healed. The key is to be willing to do whatever you need to do to rectify the problem.
When I counsel my main objective is to always find out what is at the heart of the matter. What is at the root of it all and also to see the bigger picture of what is really going on.
I do this because many times people will come in and share with me their problems and the truth is their problems they are discussing with me are usually results or symptoms of a deeper issue and all they can see is the surface level of where they are at that moment.
That is why I highly recommend talking to someone who can give you godly and professional counsel to help you get down to the core of where the anger is stemming from.
Here are some helpful tools to get you started in the right direction when it comes to dealing with anger.
Pray: Pray before during and after and pray for God to reveal the core issue at hand and once you find the core root of the anger ask God to help you deal with the root issue and to pull that root out and bring healing. There is usually an un-dealt issue at the core of an anger issue and you need God’s help to deal with that truth.
Measure Your Intensity: On a scale of 1-10 measure how angry you are getting.
Measure Your Consistency: Take note of how consistent and how often you get angry. Also when did the intense anger begin? Making note of time and perhaps month or year. Narrowing it down to a specific occasion or occurrence will usually lead you to the answer.
Identify Your Triggers: Take note of the occasion(s) you become angry looking at what sets you off. One thing or many things and are they related?
Try to find the Root or Cause: Once you have done the first four steps try to find the relation between them and narrow down what the root or cause might be. For example: One woman said her behavior changed around the month of November just six months prior. When she recalled what happened around that time, she realized that the month before her closest friend passed away. That unveiled to the both of us that she was grieving and she didn’t realize it.
Be willing to Look Soberly: Be willing to look at your heart and situation sober minded. In other words be realistic with yourself on why you are becoming angry or volatile. Be willing to face the facts and do what you need to do to restore your healing and alleviate whatever issue is at the root of it.
Address the Root Cause: Be willing to deal with the core root issue head on. If it is un-forgiveness, resentment, guilt, grief, trauma, whatever it might be, it’s important to take the steps to deal with it head on, especially if you know what the cause of your anger and unhappiness is. Until you are willing to deal with the issue it will never change or go away and in fact will get worse.
Talk to a Professional: If the core root is too hard for you to handle on your own, it’s important to seek out counsel. Either professional counseling or pastoral care counseling. You can then find out more information on anger management to help give you more direction and guidance on dealing with the issue and how to manage your anger practically.
Make Alternative Choices: As you are seeking counsel, be more conscience of your anger and make some decisions on how to respond to your trigger situations rather than react. For example if your trigger is someone being sarcastic with you, make a decision to walk away when it happens. Prepare yourself and think of alternative scenarios to deviate from a confrontation or blow up.
Take Action Steps: As you find out what the core issue is and you get godly counsel or professional counsel, continue to take the necessary steps to carry it out and follow through until the core or root is taken out and keep in mind that this process does not happen over night.
Other sources of anger that I haven’t mentioned could also be medications. If you are taking prescribed medications, there is a good chance that the medicine may be playing a part in it. Also your age might be included in that, especially if you are menopausal or hormonal. Don't take my word for it, please see a doctor for their evaulation.
There may not be one thing but several issues that may be playing a role in this and the most important tip here is to try to find out what it is.
If you think you might be dealing with unforgiveness, bitterness, or disapointment you can also read those topics here, "Dealing with Unforgiveness and Bitterness" and "Dealing with Disappointment" on my website. Take a look at the topics on my counseling page to see if there are any other topics that may help.
Always remember that you are not alone, God is right there to help you if you are willing to allow Him to do that. Allow God to heal you and restore you and allow Him to draw closer to you by spending quality time with Jesus. If you would like to know more about drawing closer to God you can click on my website and read my testimony page. Please read the following passages to see what the bible says about anger.
Scripture References:
Eph 4:26-28 "In your anger do not sin" : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. “NIV
James 1:20-21 “for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.” NIV
Psalms 4:4 “ In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. “NIV
Gal 5:16-26 “So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law. 19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”
Gal 5:22-26 “ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.” NIV
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